Of course, there are may types of attacks. Ones may be physical and psychological or just psychological. However, the impact of any type of attack on yourself is profound.

It is in these attacks where a window of opportunity is opened: The capacity to grow and overcome this through observation, awareness, and then change will take place.

Let’s make conscious some internal workings we may not be aware of:

You may believe power comes from controlling others, when it actually exists when you are in control of YOURSELF.

Cause <-> Effect
-> one way
<-> Both ways

• Feeling Abused -> Anger
• Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless
• Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security
• The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear
• Fear -> Anger
• Anger <-> Sadness

In other words,

01Feeling Abused -> Anger
Anger may be a common response when we feel abused. In such moments, anger may provoke an aggressive response or a silent protest. Even a silent response, may induce resent. Therefore, abuse causing anger needs to be detected before anger controls you and you won’t be able to see beyond the abuse.

What does “to see beyond the abuse” mean? It means abuse needs to be understood to be free from it, not only to have a reaction through anger or sadness, but to see beyond behavior to understand ourselves better.

02Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless When you feel abused, you can sense how powerless you really are. It happens that you may not even aware of this, but the impact of your agression toward the world surrounding you when we feel powerless is enormous. This all is influenced by your definition of what is fair.  For example, if you worked hard for an A and got a D, you may feel abused, and if you can’t change the note… You will feel powerless, thus angry and frustrated. This chain of reactions will only lead to a negative consequence. You need to be aware of it before it takes control over you. Why? The angrier  you get, the less will you be able to observe your surroundings or yourself to take the appropriate action for a positive result.

03Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security When there is no control or actual manipulation, freedom really begins to exist. Unfortunatly, we don’t regularly see this because we want to prefer the feeling of security over freedom. However, the security provoked by controling others is just ephimeral and not real. Security exists only when you are free, but freedom from your inside, not outside. The more you are aware of your own instincts and patters, the better you will feel because you will be free from yourself, thus you will feel no need to control others.

04The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear When you are feeling power powerless, you realize you can never really control others, and you can’t even not be in control of yourself, fear may come in, and aggression could find a way into your mind. When you realize you are powerless, you may want to control others, you could try to use “force” to obtain thing your way through control and manipulation, and if you don’t get it your way, anger gains control over you.

Do you realize the more you feel the need to control others, the less will you actually be in need of the others to feel secure, thus your security will always be false and depending others? Eventually, those you think you will always control, will realize it. Manipulation doesn’t live forever, people die. Yet, you will always be with yourself.

05Fear -> Anger It is when you feel fear when your animal instincts gain force. Fear is a primeval feeling that is deeply related with how secure we feel. A long time ago, when we heard a roar we had to run. That adrenaline rush keeps coming after all these centuries, but in the form of anger. Why? We may not need to kill the prey, but we still feel the rush that becomes anger toward those who seem to take our security away from us. What would happen if we could realize we do not need to control others to feel secure? What would happen if we don’t feel fear when we are not under control over things? What would happen if we could understand ourselves so well, we can feel security by seeing the truth beyond our biased perceptions?

06Anger <-> Sadness Least, but not last… Anger is actually sadness, the realization you are not “powerful” and you will never be “secure”, unless something changes deeply inside of you. If you see yourself really closely when in anger, you will realize without a doubt that when you are anger, you are really sad about something. It could be you are sad because you cannot obtain something you deserve (the definition of what is just in your eyes), you may have a low-self esteem without realzing it consciously, and then it is projected by anger when you are feel sad, disappointed, alone, worthless, etc. and don’t want to realize it because doing it means you will change. Most of us, don’t want to change until we reach the limit.

When will enough be enough? After a storm… Sense and accept the changes.

At the end, I may be wrong and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but give you hints about what could be going on inside yourself. If we could understand the consequences of our actions before they unfold, perhaps will we be ready to live with confortably with those. It takes a lot of courage to react against the most, but if you don’t start your own positive current: Who will? What are you waiting for?

The more you become aware of what you do and why, the less will you suffer. Think about it!

Photo Credit: Dhilung Kirat

Thoughts create depression. Is this true?

Stay alert:

• Do you speak only about yourself?
• Do you ask for others doings after speaking a while about yourself?
• Do you really pay attention to the meaning of the words when they are speaking or are you just thinking in what are you about to respond?
• Do you analyze the impact of your words and calculate the “aftermath” of your encounter?

Sometimes, we rather talk to someone without a purpose, than to listen to yourself before, during, and after speaking. Why?

If you don’t listen to yourself, you are actually a representation of this picture: Totally blind to your surroundings, and totally confused with what is going on because you are not observing/listening/talking about what is happening.

If you talk about yourself without considering what the other person may want to hear, are you actually communicating? You may say; you do, but in fact a conversation can only be held if two persons are really engaged into understanding each other.

For example: You may talk for half an hour about fish because you love them, but after that you go to sleep, and don’t ask your mate (wife, husband, friend, brother, sister etc.) about his day, his plants, or whatever. Do you realize that by doing so, you are separating from him?

Now, it can be tough because even you do have the intention of listening, you may realize that now you can see things that may hurt:

01You were so into speaking that you hadn’t read their body talk before (yawn, a tick, touching their mouth as if they want to speak, etc.); you realize people weren’t interested in your talk.

02Those who listened to you, don’t want to talk to you about the things they love, and don’t feel the need to share about themselves.

03You may realize the interesting things you could have known, you may regret the days you were self centered, and wished had spent sharing with your loved ones. You may even feel sad for being so dumb.

Now, stop.
If you start feeling those depressive thoughts, react! There is no need to feel guilt, but to analyze the reasons behind the self-centered attitudes, so you may be alert before they arise again.

Your old patterns will try to regain force, each day, until the new habits replace the old ones. Well, how does all of this relate to depression? Well, a sad person comes into being because of several factors like:

• Loneliness
• Fear
• Anger
• Frustration
• Insecurity
• Low-self esteem
• Egoism

One concept is always are related to each other.

For example: If I feel anger, it is because I feel powerless, thus frustrated that you cannot change “the thing that keeps you depressed”. Or, If I are am an egoist person, then others will start to stay away from me because I am bitter, self-centered, and I will become lonely although surrounded of people.

So, what can we do when depressed? Find out the source of the depression. Listen to your thoughts. Find out if your thoughts provoke your sadness. Find the reason of those thoughts. Ask questions, ask them again, and release the inner pain through becoming aware of it.

Good Luck, and by the way, beware: These ideas are not considering a chemical imbalance, merely “some sort of mind/spirit” issues.

Photo Credit: By Icky Pic | Jimmy Changa

A possible reason we react with anger is a deceiving self-image that leads you to depression.

I try to imagine angry, but not depressed or sad people… and I can’t.

To change this we need to observe ourselves when you are sad or angry. Have you listened to those depressing thoughts, and doubted them? Tough? Practice is needed, and many times at first you will not notice, but if you persevere you will find out what is beneath your anger.

Who wants to be with an angry person? We may do it but is that relationship healty? Do we want to live constantly with a person who is always angry?

We would prefer to be with someone who is happy because their happiness is contagious.

An example: I am angry because someone I loved left me. In fact, I am really sad, very sad, but I prefer to be angry because sadness is translated as a weakness.

However, to realize, accept and understand your sadness is really something tough. You need a lot of inner strength to perceive the process of sadness in relation to anger.

We don’t want to realize the reasons and ways to overcome the sadness, and the reality of it is kept inside of our minds. Then, we may have nightmares or dreams about it. We still don’t want to realize it.

Sadness is volatile, as is anger. If those feelings are so volatile, why are we so persistent in bringing them on? Do we want to live saddened or angry? Do you know more examples?

Now… Why do we react with anger?

01 If we are sad we don’t want to discover the complete nature of our sadness, then it is probable we will continue acting with anger rages until we learn the reasons it is not the best for us.

02 It is a way to cover sadness. The mind may have this idea: If I am angry, I am strong. I am sad, I am weak. I am strong. I will get angry, instead of being depressed.

However that depression leads us to be angry, and anger brings us more depression because people who are surrounding us may stay away from us due to fear. They may be afraid of your anger or tired of dealing with it.

You don’t need money nor fame. You just have to listen to those thoughts, doubt them, be aware of their consequences as you believe them…

You need to eat right. Do some exercise. Why? Body chemistry also plays an important role.

Why do we want to be angry? There is no positive effect. At a long term, we may realize that anger has had a terrible impact in ourselves. Why do we want to be sad?

You may say… Sadness cannot be controlled.

You don’t need to control it. You just need to be alert (become aware), so you can be conscious of it when it arises. You will see sadness, instead of seeing through sadness.Thus, by doing so, you will be able to understand it and perhaps find out there is no reason to be sad.

So, do you want to be angry and sad? Or, better yet, Do you want to be happy and fulfilled?
It’s up to you! Be Happy! Couldn’t do it today? Don’t worry, be happy! Wouldn’t it be awsome to be happy most of the time?

It is ironic that we may be alone many times, and never feel lonely, but when we are sad or depressed we feel left alone. Who has left us alone, other people or ourselves? Who has been keeping others away, us or the others?

Can’t be happy? Smile… Fake it!

Then without noticing it instantly, the smile will become real…

You are happy. You are lucky. You are fantastic. You are great.
You are… THE MOST PRECIOUS AND WONDERFUL BEING I HAVE EVER MET or YET NOT MET… But I will. Why do I say this? Find it out!

Photos Credit: By Alan Cleaver

Peace begins in our inner self, then it touches your family, and at last it reaches society. If we feel powerless, we want to gain that power, instead of discovering what does it mean, and how can you overcome your sense of defeat into something greater than yourself, so you can transform it into inner growth and being strong; we prefer to linger with fear and depression.

Why? If every event we live is an opportunity to discover how can you become a better person, how can you understand yourself better, how can you reach your inner balance, how can you transform yourself, and eventually release your selfishness.

It is hard to accept and comprehend those events (selfishness) may hurt you a lot, but at the end it is what you need to open your eyes to your own suffering and the suffering others are living in order to overcome that pain.

The more you decide to be blind, the harder events cross into your life to realize you need to ask yourself these basic questions:

Who am I? Why do I exist? What will happen when I die? Why do people act the way they do? Why do I become angry? Why do I act as I do? Is it moral to be as I am? Is it ethic to do what I intend to do?

Those questions will only lead your life into more and more questions if you are answering correctly, infinity within imagination and reason.

The feeling of being powerless is so strong, we prevent ourselves from seeing the the reasons we become angry as another person tries to force his will on you. You may say it is unjust. How can you let another person violate your right to be free?

My question would be: Who is really free? In these times, the media dominates your likes, your needs, and even your thoughts. Is that freedom?

I guess that to lack the ability to ask yourself the impossible questions is really reducing our freedom, but we are so blind by trying to feel powerful, we don’t realize we are powerless.

I cannot change what you think. Even if I could influence and apparently change you… It is a lie or misunderstanding of the way reality actually works.

You have the final choice, and the ultimate inner freedom.

The only way you may really change is asking yourself those questions, and the only way other people will actually change is asking themselves the same questions.

We will not be free as long we are trapped in that constant need to feel in control of something because we not in “control” (awareness) of ourselves (and our thoughts).

However, it is not me who knows. Your own actions will eventually show you have several options:

1. You live blinded.
2. You try to see.
3. You see sometimes and other times you are blinded.
4. You see.

All of these, not depending on others, but only you.

Where does our sense of feeling powerless begin, and where does it end? Can we regain our freedom by listening to what yourself has to say or do you prefer to let others talk about what is best for you?

Is it your choice? Or is it not yours, but you want to think it is to feel power over yourself when you do not have it?

Photo Credit: By YardSale | YardsaleDan