The image of self needs a sense of security in order to function. There are different types of security: Physical and Psychological. If there is a threat, then the process of fear begins to be self evident.

Psychological security cannot be found in our exterior, but we are taught that it can be found through money, goals, and power. The only thing that can be gained through these “objects” is physical security. However, one must be aware that physical is never really possible. You can have an accident or have “bad” luck.

The first step in order to gain awareness is to realize that the concept of security as we have been taught is a total lie. We struggle into finding someplace, sometime, and somehow. It is always a tomorrow to be gained, a past to be overcome, but what happens with the present moment? It gets lost in the midst of the concept we call time.

Why have we created a shrine out of time? Why is the concept of time so deeply ingrained in our system of beliefs?

This psychological security will never be found outside of yourself. Psychological security depends solely on your ability to understand yourself and be aware of yourself.

However as one gets deeper into the process of fear, it might be more difficult to become aware of our involvement in it; unless we are constantly informing our consciousness of this process through mindfulness.

Is this true? How Find out by observing your self as you act within violence, fear or sadness. Maybe I am wrong at this, so become an empiricist of your own mind!

I am only a guide, not the rule!

If I ask you, are you afraid of death? Will you take some time to consider this? Or will you instantly say: Naaa… I do not care about dying. Bring it on!

If you instantly answer that you are not afraid, could it be that you are so deep into the process of fear that you cannot recognize it? If you answer again with a simple no, then I ask you: Have you been angry recently?

If you answer no, then stop reading! You might not ready to understand this or you might already be pure peace. Your call. No hard feelings!

Let’s move on with those who can actually accept that fear is present in their lives most of the time in a very subtle mode or are not actually living inner peace.

You might be aware of the fact that you do not live a profound inner peace, but maybe you have never experienced a moment of fulfillment that is not directly related to an achievement.

Are you ready so tired of suffering that you cannot bear it anymore? Are you tired of trying to achieve the impossible because there is always more to crawl into? Are you in a state of depression that cannot be ignored any longer?

Well, if you are in that state of complete surrender to the reality that is being presented day by day. You feel there is no way out… I have good news for you!

The greatness of becoming more aware is always waiting for you!

Your suffering is directly proportional to your violence and fear. You might ask: Where does suffering come from? How does suffering relate to fear?

It is all related in a very subtle way. You can become aware of it through direct observation of your thoughts and feelings as they begin to creep in and try to control you.

You might say, “Well, that is too difficult. I cannot do it. I have never done it.”

Well if you think you can’t, then you are not sick tired to your bones of suffering. Believe me! Once you say, enough is enough from your most inner core…

You CAN do it! Nothing but yourself is stopping you!

Tired of suffering?

Choose awareness over control.
Choose fulfillment over power.
Choose inner liberty over goals.
Choose love over fear.
Choose peace.

I have given you a simple guide with a hypothesis of the process of fear. My theory might not apply to you, but it is a walked path that can help you understand yourself faster.

However, to some people this answer might seem counter-wise their own set of established beliefs. The reason is that we are traditionally taught that you have always teacher: at first it is your parents, then school teachers, even new type teachers might be needed after school, etc. So, let’s get this straight.

Yes, there might be teachers that explain stuff to make it easier to understand, but my question is: Who can teach me the truth?

What is the truth? Well, some might say science is the truth. Is this true? Well… In a way it is, but in another way it is not. Science can be proven to be false, and we change the truth to state the new truth. For example, we at first thought that the earth was flat. We now know it is not. It took many years to find out it was not flat. The reason it took so many years is that it was counter-wise their established set of traditional beliefs. Science is regarded as the truth because it changes as we admit and prove new ways of perceiving and interpreting reality in a group.

However, let’s go beyond the boundary of science. Let’s go into the individual… This terrain is tricky. There are many theories in philosophical books, and I won’t go there. You can search them if you are curious. I might not even be aware of the greatness you find there. So, what am I doing here?

I put forward a concept to you from a “fresh” perspective. Perhaps, you might agree with me, but I do not want to be agreed upon. I want to make you think. I want you to challenge me, but truly listen and grasp what I am saying.

Then, you are free to crush me politely.

Yes, the only real truth is here. It is in this exact moment as you read this. It is not an abstraction that you can elaborate in the past or in the future. Many of us spend enormous time trying to grasp the fundamentals of the universe, but we are doing it this way:

We use the reality of the present moment to create another reality within our own heads. The concept of the truth is stored in our brain, and we use that concept as if it were actually true, not realizing that the only truth is the present moment.

Of course, the present moment can include any concept because you have defined them and you use them to alter your reality as you think and act upon those thoughts. However, to believe that these concepts are the whole reality, and these can translate into truth and pure facts is a lie, a lie nurtured by tradition.

The belief that all can be explained through thoughts, verbs, etc. is an arrogant presumption.

However, the belief that the truth can be grasped in an abstraction is totally counter-wise in a practical sense because:

The truth must be real. What is real? The only real thing is here and now. The past is not real anymore, and the future is not here. This instant of perpetual infinity is the only truth. If you wake up this instant, and realize this was all a dream. Then, your new reality “the non-dream state” is the truth, not the past or the present, but that now.

So, how can someone else teach you the truth? How can someone teach you something that is not teachable? You have to observe it and become aware of it individually. How is this done?

There are many theories, but I will not spill the beans. You have to find it by yourself. You have to teach yourself the truth. You have to wake up to the fact that authority does not have the answer.

Please, at least let’s accept this situation. There is no agreement regarding the truth. Why don’t we at least accept it as a society, and move on?

Why don’t we accept differences, instead of projecting our fears in others’ beliefs? Why don’t we promote creative thinking, instead of tying to create equal molds of being?

We are ingrained with the belief that we must follow an authority figure. Do you know why this happens?

It happens because we feel security in believing that someone else knows the truth. If someone else knows the truth, then I might feel an illusion of safeness because although I do not know, others know, and I will someday know.

Stop! Think about this by yourself! Stop searching for a tomorrow that will reveal the truth. Stop searching for a teacher. You are the teacher and the student. You are the only one that can actually through your own experience live the truth. Stop nurturing the guru with ego. Stop praising the one who says he or she knows.

Better, yet… Also doubt what I am saying, and do what you want.

You can walk the path of the teacher until you are tired of following the authority that doesn’t lead you anywhere and you realize you have been walking in circles with such figure.

Just have this in mind: The relationship teacher-student is a power relation. There is a very fine line that can be crossed, and the student might fall into the trap of following without questioning.

Why? The teacher might lie. The teacher might not know. The teacher might have an enormous ego that the student is feeding. A teacher that needs a student is trapped within the desires of the student. The teacher is also trapped in the expectations of the student.

It is a power relationship, and one will always be trapped within a framework of belief unless you decide to stop the situation.

In a power relationship, if you have the lower status: It is almost impossible to win. The process of belief, how belief creates psychological safety, and the role it plays within those structures impede your ability to convince.

However, the student does have power over the “teacher” because it is a power relationship.

For example, if the teacher does not convince as he expects to do or the student decides not to be taught anymore, then a certain kind of hostility might occur. Although, it might seem at a first glance that in a teacher-student relationship the one who always loses is the student… It goes both ways.

The teacher is gaining something by teaching, if not: Why do it? Could it be total non-self interest? It might be. It is not my position to judge.

However, keep in mind I am not being specific. You might have a great teacher… So, this might not apply to you, right? Great! Stop reading then, unless you really want to challenge your framework of beliefs established by those important figures in your life.

Ready? Want to continue? This is the thing:

The truth cannot be shown. If your teacher is wonderful as you might desire to believe, then ask him: Can you show me the truth?

If he or she is wise, the answer will be: No. I cannot show you the truth.

Why? Why would a wise teacher be unable to show to the truth? A truth must be shown in order to believe, isn’t it? However, seeing is not believing because we use abstractions to reach a conclusion that is concrete.

If the teacher can’t see that you are the only one who can see the truth, then what are you learning: Languages? Science? Philosophy?

Remember, perspective plays a role here. Don’t expect a person who lives within a framework of language to point out something that is not within that context.

Why do we tend to treat something that is an abstraction as a concrete fact through language? Why do we choose security through belief, than challenging ourselves to the unknown? Could it be fear? Why do we feel fear? How does fear work? Could we be afraid to acknowledge that the truth cannot be taught?

The idea here is: The truth cannot be taught if the truth is in the present moment.

What does this mean? It means that if you are searching for the holy grail in your mind, instead of opening your hands to the reality in front of you. How will you find something that is there, but you prefer to be blind due to your own set of established beliefs that cause you to feel fear if ever threatened?

You might be wondering… Well, why do you ask questions? It is very easy to ask questions. You are no different from the so called “teachers”.

In fact, you are quite right. I am no different those so called “teachers”, but my point here is to make you think. I do not care if you believe me or not. I am challenging through those questions you might love to hear answered, and yes it might be easier to just ask the question.

But at the end, I might be wrong.

However, could it be more difficult to express a question in a precise order, so you can follow the concept without giving you an answer? Perhaps… Who knows?

My purpose: I would like you to realize that you are the only one that can actually answer some questions through your experience within the context of finding the truth.

Is this a sort of a teaching? Yes, but you still have the option to say: I don’t agree with you. Wonderful, I applaud your conviction. Keep asking questions! Keep arguing against me! Observe and listen deeply with great attention, and find the truth.

Could I rephrase this by telling you: “Be the truth.”? How would that change the game? Why would it change it? Could that be related with what I wrote before about the truth is in the present moment?

Photo Credits: First image By takomabibelot Second By brian glanz

Let me first begin with the fact that fear creates violence.

People use fear to control others, but what they do not realize is that that same fear in fact will create violence in order to defend itself from the boogie man.

Now, is this true? Does fear create violence? One has to seek within ourselves, and ask: Is there a relationship between myself being anger and a state of fear? For example, if I lose a loved one. I get angry at life. Is this anger directly proportional to the loss of the loved one? Is this anger related to my state of fear because I feel vulnerable without my loved ones who gave me a sense of inner security?

This is a suggested process of how violence could work within ourselves:

The chain that does not end, unless you end the conditional response. A response that has been nurtured by a cultural tradition of what kinds of responses are expected from you when being attacked. Ask yourself: When did you learn to act this way? Do you remember a specific moment? Most probably, you won’t. In fact, what you will remember is a set of rules set by example.

Your family might be trapped within this cycle or perhaps, a lover or a dear friend. If you do, realize that this process is taking place in your life. The only way to cut the chain is to walk away from those who are not willing to modify their pattern of aggression.

This might sound radical, but how can you change someone or something that is not willing to admit that something is wrong? You can’t.

You can only choose to change yourself, and that can only be done if you are no longer in the cycle. There are certain people who might trigger these emotional processes easier than others within yourself. Therefore, do not expect to change instantly. It takes time to override each and every button you have that can be triggered by a removal of your beliefs of safety (i.e fear based manipulation).

The reason people use fear to control is because it works in the short term. If you fear something, you will easily fall into manipulation of those who want to control you.

For example, if you do not want to sleep. Perhaps, a family member threatened to call the police and take you away if you did not sleep when they told you so. That act is creating fear through psychological violence.

In fact, fear is not good or bad. It is supposed to prevent you from harming yourself, but I ask: What would happen if our society stopped controlling through fear? What would happen if instead of fear, a new process called awareness of the consequences occurred?

As in the example above, what would happen if instead of threatening with the police, one would explain once and again the reason one has to sleep early? Why is it not explained that it is needed to rest in order for others to rest and also to be strong every day after resting?

It is not about not being able to understand! It is about being patient until one gets it! But, what happens if we are inside the cycle? Is there a way out? This is a suggestion, but do work out your own process.

Without deep analysis there won’t be real progress. Repeat each time you are in the cycle of violence. Don’t expect to be violence free at your first attempt. It is a process. It will take many years to master a peace mindset. Be patient.

Why do we prefer to threaten, instead of being patient? The reason is fear.

The use of threats occurs because the one threatening is afraid of the response of the one being manipulated. However, if one does not fear but understands and becomes patient… Where will fear go? What happens with fear? Does it really matter if we cannot eradicate fear? What is the key aspect here?

In order to overcome fear and violence, one must become aware.

Fear is the one that will make you enter the cycle of violence. It is not until to realize this that you can actually change your violent mindset, thus by becoming aware you can change. Fear can be overcome if it is confronted. If it is ignored it could become harmful through this vicious cycle, until you decide enough is enough! However, if fear is ignored… There might be a very good reason.

Do not be fooled or convinced by my ideas. I am just initiating the discussion. Challenge! Defeat my thought with real awareness of yourself. You need to get into it by yourself.

It is all up to you to change! No one will do it for you. You are the only one who that can beat violence through an awareness of its process within yourself as you feel your body getting tense with adrenaline.

Choose not to fall into the cycle. If you fail to be calm, do not fall into the trap of frustration as it is also part of fear. You might be afraid of not letting go of the cycle. Fear is elusive, yet it might be there when you think it is not.

Only your own observations can answer this!

You might say, it is impossible not to desire. Let’s start on that…

There are basic desires, or shall we call them necessities for survival: Food, basic shelter, heating, water, basic clothing, and air. I might desire those, but some of those desires can be met at ease unless you live in an extremely poor country or ‘your case I am not aware of’.

However, in order to meet these you need something called: Money. To get this shiny thing, society tells that you must desire it because IT will solve ALL your problems.

This is the first big lie. But, hey… Don’t get me wrong everybody needs to find their own ways to survive. But the belief that money does buy happiness is a lie. Even reaching your goals is not really happiness. It might feel nice for a while, but that feeling fades as your attention begins to be drawn toward a new desire.

The key word here is: Attention.

The key to eradicate suffering is attention (i.e. an awareness of our desires). It is through this attention that one can observe the source of our desires as an open lens that does not judge.

The need to fulfill desires is what drives people to have power. This becomes a destructive and selfish goal of having power over others if the desire becomes difficult to attain. The more difficult to attain, the more one desires to have power to do as one would wish.

If such power does not provide that desire, one can end up feeling frustration that is parallel to suffering.

Can you see the cycle? Let’s break it down. The cycle might not be in this order. It is only as a purpose to exemplify some inner tendencies.

01I have a wish, thus I want power to fulfill that wish.

02 I want power because I must have what I expect or even “deserve”.

03If I do not get what I want, I will be violent because I feel frustration.

04If I feel frustration, I will be suffering until I get what I want.

05If I do get what I want, it will not satisfy me… So, I will need something else to want.

What to end it? Want to end suffering? Be aware of your desires, and decide:

Does having this desire deserve my happiness? Am I willing to trade my happiness for something I want? Would it be better to be happy with what I am able to have? What does “enough is enough” mean?

Photo Credit: by swamysk

You’ve got to put it to the test in a VERY serious manner.

With this purpose in mind, I will give you some questions that could lead you to this answer, but at the same time I will contradict myself. This is to make you think because there are many currents of thought to answer this question, including yours and mine. Yet, I am going to approach to it through a different lens, a practical and experimental one.

First of all, what is the objective of meditation? Some might believe it is to reach enlightenment, so I ask… What is enlightenment? Is it a supernatural thing? Although, this could be deeply phenomenological I still want to be cautious. We cannot simply accept something that is out of our experience (although this experience might be false, will not go here right now, but it is about how our senses and brain tricks us); we need to ask questions because blind belief has a done a lot of damage to our societies.

So, let’s put an idea forward as a possibility of enlightenment:

Love, the feeling of loving when it is overwhelming and completely embracing to the point your ‘self’ is not longer that ‘self’.

You could have felt this when you were hugging your child, even a dog, or simply by being totally out of time and space when doing something for you or others in a brief moment of space and time, a deep fulfilling moment. My point in comparing it to this: I want to bring enlightenment to something experimental, something that can be actual in yourself, but is not dependent of your desires of wanting to be ‘enlightened’ but in giving “yourself”.

Now, to be very clear I am not saying this is enlightenment, but I am not saying it isn’t either: I am just setting a ‘common’ ground that will put forward the possibility of love being enlightenment.

Now, if love is enlightenment? Then, ask yourself: What could be the most incredible moment of love I have lived? Why haven’t I lived it constantly? What is stopping me from living a constant wave of love within myself?

These questions are very interesting because they could lead you to ask: Who am I? Who is that ‘myself’? Who is this being ‘I’ who thinks I am which is constantly talking to me? Is there a moment in our minds where there is complete silence of chatter? Does chatter stop when I love? Can I be aware of something without the need of words and chatter? Can I be aware of the words and chatter without judging them, but loving them?

Loving my CHATTER?! Could that mean love myself? Could loving ‘myself’ mean enlightenment? Is this egoism? How does egoism differ from ‘enlightened’ love? Could egoism mean my chatter, and ‘enlightened’ love the awareness of the chatter? Could it mean to love the chatter, but at the same time improving it by being aware of what is going on inside of it without judging harshly (with love)? Am I that chatter? If I can be aware of my chatter, can I be aware of the things that surround me without that chatter? If I am able to see everything around me without chatter or judgments, can I feel that love that makes it all bloom?

Don’t make your need for answers or ‘quest’ be the opium of your mind, let it rest, so when it does speak to you, you will be ready to hear.

Now, awareness… How does it relate to meditation and the idea of enlightenment? Well, meditation is said to take you to this state of silence, but is this silence necessary? Isn’t awareness more fulfilling than meditation? Could awareness be the silence when observing deeply our chatter or nature? Could meditation be at tool that we believe is the ‘method’ without seeing that the tool as a tool is meaningless if there is no understanding of what it does and how it does it?

With awareness, you can have chatter, but you are aware of it. With awareness, you can have silence, and be aware of it. In awareness, there is love… Why? You have to love to see the awareness or you have to be aware to see the love. It is in actual experience that this can be realized, not as a myth of enlightenment, but as an actual thing that can be achieved when you decide to put your effort into it.

In meditation there is the belief that there is a ‘method’, and methods don’t work for everybody. So, we must doubt the method, and find our own ways to see our minds ‘through’ our own forms of meditation or reflection. You can try the method, but don’t be blinded by the method… You are the ultimate source of meditation… You are the experience that is observing everything that happens around you.

You Choose!

Meditation, awareness, love, enlightenment, or another… Whatever you choose, do it, but try to ask why? Find your own answers, and if they lead you to fulfillment (a deep sense of love)… There is something good there to be explored, if they lead you to depression and suffering: STOP. Analyze yourself.

Ask: What am I afraid of? Nothing…? Then, let it be for a while, stop the questions, live and experience of being in the tree of life. Perhaps, in the moment you least imagine… An answer will pop! You will know it is time to ask the questions, again. However, don’t ignore it totally… Listen.

It is all about deep observations, awareness, love, YOUR method of meditation, and perhaps enlightenment, and again be cautious… Self-delusion is always a possibility, yet… I ask: Is the love you feel an illusion? How is it real? Could it be even more real? Could you live it to its full potential? What is that potential?

This goes way into the way we process information through a possible prediction system (Hawkins, Blakeslee) or an interpreter (Gazzaniga) in the brain that creates justifications to sustain beliefs.

The studies about how the brain works are in process, but in between…

We have an urgent thing to answer: What is violence? Where does violence come from? Where does violence lie within us?

There are people who talk about freedom of the mind, and its emptiness. It is my concern that their beliefs and their concepts about all these theories fill the same void religion fills. The only difference is that their ideology changes to their new adopted behaviors of meditation or whatever ‘fashion’ is available to them that makes them feel good or safe.

The problem of ideology and belief is the lack of questioning the fundamental reasons: Who are we? What is a concept? What is to think? How do we think? What is love? What is to observe? Etc. These questions may seem obvious, but it is in that trap that we have been living, a trap that can no longer be contained. It is ready to explode.

There are philosophers, religious figures, and others who have attempted to give answers to these questions. However, it can no longer be a state of complete denial where deep thought is left for some, it is our responsibility to ask questions, and try to answer them, not for the sake of knowledge, but your own fulfillment.

Now, it seems easier and more tempting to just read a ‘guru’, and believe everything he says, instead of challenging him and giving him your own level, you as ‘he’ as the same capacities, the only difference is that he made a living by being ‘a guru’. You haven’t chosen that path.

Most of us have to work or do things to survive and being a guru is not an option, unless you are one of those writers who say to know everything about the world, but in fact are a bunch of copy pasters from different traditions of thought.

Therefore, this post today will be to challenge you…

I dare you to think! To ask questions. To forget about the ‘guru’, to face life with all you’ve got, painful or not, it is all we actually have, our experience, and if we continue to rely on those ‘mythical figures’ (academic, political, or religious) we will fail to see our mistakes, and will be keep doing them for centuries to come.

So, how to ask questions? With more questions, without “definite answers”, however you will gain new perspectives about life. You will be able to see how there is no actual “true” or “false” (in a deep sense), but perspectives that have different ways of seeing and experiencing life. As I said before, these questions are not about finding perfect answers or new beliefs… It is about experiencing life in a new way… BEWARE the guru, the knower, the whatever… better know thyself!

Let’s confront the gurus, prophets, philosophers, etc, and realize in yourself the correct perspective of what they are saying. Got a belief? Challenge it. Challenge your own belief. Don’t fall into the your own guru bias. You have to be very careful, very aware of your thoughts, and how they arise, and how they dissolve. Why? You use your thoughts to understand life. It is a source of your ‘experience’, you cannot simply trust your senses because it is ‘obvious’ to do so, you need not only to challenge others, but to challenge yourself to the extreme. This might sound difficult or extraordinary, and it might be… Until you realize how relevant, and transcendent for your experience it is to see beyond concepts, to observe beyond beliefs, to actually LIVE, and instead of being in a ‘virtual reality’ of yourself.

Ask questions: Use one question, and answer it with another until you have a bag of questions you are constantly trying to answer day and night. You will reach answers, doubt those, and start again. Why do we want to feel security of knowing? Is there something else beside knowledge? What about experience? Is experience knowledge? How can live an experience if I am always thinking about nonsense? Or is the experience a thought? If experience is a thought, then… Is all reality a product of thought? Is there something beyond thoughts?

How can you assure that the mind is never empty? How can you assure everybody lives a mind without emptiness? Why is emptiness so important if you have never had your mind empty? Isn’t that same “idea” of emptiness the same thing that “prevents” you from being empty? And if you reach emptiness how can you be sure that there is this divine? And if it is divine, how can you be sure that divine is not obtained through untraditional non explored ways that only you can reach through self-contemplation with or without thoughts? Why do mediators want to empty the mind? Isn’t the mind already empty, but we strive to “live” the illusions due to the security felt by what we know? Why would you want to achieve one-mindedness if one-mindedness already is? Why try to achieve something that is not achievable because it already has been achieved?

Why is there a classical sense of traditional meditation? Is meditation total awareness (Including your thoughts whenever they arise and non-thoughts)? What happens when there are no thoughts? Is this possible? How can you assure that there is no possible existence without thoughts just because you haven’t experienced a life without ‘constant thoughts’?

For example, I am observing the conflict inside my head without judging, but just listening to it and trying to understand it. Could this be meditation? Why should you follow a tradition about what is a ‘meditative state’? What is justice? What is freedom? Do you really have free will? If so, could the idea of having free will a belief that you want to nurture to feel security and feel you have control over something?

Ask about contemplation, how does contemplation relate with thought? How could awareness of these conflicts change things? What is contemplation? Could there be a state of constant awareness?

These questions are not easy, some may find them too difficult to answer because that means to change your entire way to observe and experience the world. You will change, and in this change if there is no peace, but more conflict, your answers are creating more and more beliefs that do not have a foundation of truth.

Keep asking! How? Why? Yes… Keep going!

What is truth? What is peace? What is violence? How does violence work within the mind? Is our nature violent? Why? Why could you accept a concept like that seeing the implication of such violence in the world? Could concepts and beliefs be the source of violence? Could our identification of ourselves with these beliefs create violence to defend these beliefs that create us security? Where does true security lie? Could security be related with violence? What would happen if we understood security? Would fear disappear? What is fear? How is fear felt? What are the consequences of fear? How does frustration relate with fear and anger? Can you live without anger? How is fear helpful? What are the limits of fear? Are we really free? What is freedom?

Grab a book if you need inspiration. Yes, keep reading until you are tired to death, but do not fall into the trap of the tradition you are reading. Build a safe zone if necessary in order to rest, but then… Keep going!

Changing the way you experience life, love!

Of course, there are may types of attacks. Ones may be physical and psychological or just psychological. However, the impact of any type of attack on yourself is profound.

It is in these attacks where a window of opportunity is opened: The capacity to grow and overcome this through observation, awareness, and then change will take place.

Let’s make conscious some internal workings we may not be aware of:

You may believe power comes from controlling others, when it actually exists when you are in control of YOURSELF.

Cause <-> Effect
-> one way
<-> Both ways

• Feeling Abused -> Anger
• Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless
• Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security
• The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear
• Fear -> Anger
• Anger <-> Sadness

In other words,

01Feeling Abused -> Anger
Anger may be a common response when we feel abused. In such moments, anger may provoke an aggressive response or a silent protest. Even a silent response, may induce resent. Therefore, abuse causing anger needs to be detected before anger controls you and you won’t be able to see beyond the abuse.

What does “to see beyond the abuse” mean? It means abuse needs to be understood to be free from it, not only to have a reaction through anger or sadness, but to see beyond behavior to understand ourselves better.

02Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless When you feel abused, you can sense how powerless you really are. It happens that you may not even aware of this, but the impact of your agression toward the world surrounding you when we feel powerless is enormous. This all is influenced by your definition of what is fair.  For example, if you worked hard for an A and got a D, you may feel abused, and if you can’t change the note… You will feel powerless, thus angry and frustrated. This chain of reactions will only lead to a negative consequence. You need to be aware of it before it takes control over you. Why? The angrier  you get, the less will you be able to observe your surroundings or yourself to take the appropriate action for a positive result.

03Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security When there is no control or actual manipulation, freedom really begins to exist. Unfortunatly, we don’t regularly see this because we want to prefer the feeling of security over freedom. However, the security provoked by controling others is just ephimeral and not real. Security exists only when you are free, but freedom from your inside, not outside. The more you are aware of your own instincts and patters, the better you will feel because you will be free from yourself, thus you will feel no need to control others.

04The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear When you are feeling power powerless, you realize you can never really control others, and you can’t even not be in control of yourself, fear may come in, and aggression could find a way into your mind. When you realize you are powerless, you may want to control others, you could try to use “force” to obtain thing your way through control and manipulation, and if you don’t get it your way, anger gains control over you.

Do you realize the more you feel the need to control others, the less will you actually be in need of the others to feel secure, thus your security will always be false and depending others? Eventually, those you think you will always control, will realize it. Manipulation doesn’t live forever, people die. Yet, you will always be with yourself.

05Fear -> Anger It is when you feel fear when your animal instincts gain force. Fear is a primeval feeling that is deeply related with how secure we feel. A long time ago, when we heard a roar we had to run. That adrenaline rush keeps coming after all these centuries, but in the form of anger. Why? We may not need to kill the prey, but we still feel the rush that becomes anger toward those who seem to take our security away from us. What would happen if we could realize we do not need to control others to feel secure? What would happen if we don’t feel fear when we are not under control over things? What would happen if we could understand ourselves so well, we can feel security by seeing the truth beyond our biased perceptions?

06Anger <-> Sadness Least, but not last… Anger is actually sadness, the realization you are not “powerful” and you will never be “secure”, unless something changes deeply inside of you. If you see yourself really closely when in anger, you will realize without a doubt that when you are anger, you are really sad about something. It could be you are sad because you cannot obtain something you deserve (the definition of what is just in your eyes), you may have a low-self esteem without realzing it consciously, and then it is projected by anger when you are feel sad, disappointed, alone, worthless, etc. and don’t want to realize it because doing it means you will change. Most of us, don’t want to change until we reach the limit.

When will enough be enough? After a storm… Sense and accept the changes.

At the end, I may be wrong and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but give you hints about what could be going on inside yourself. If we could understand the consequences of our actions before they unfold, perhaps will we be ready to live with confortably with those. It takes a lot of courage to react against the most, but if you don’t start your own positive current: Who will? What are you waiting for?

The more you become aware of what you do and why, the less will you suffer. Think about it!

Photo Credit: Dhilung Kirat

Thoughts create depression. Is this true?

Stay alert:

• Do you speak only about yourself?
• Do you ask for others doings after speaking a while about yourself?
• Do you really pay attention to the meaning of the words when they are speaking or are you just thinking in what are you about to respond?
• Do you analyze the impact of your words and calculate the “aftermath” of your encounter?

Sometimes, we rather talk to someone without a purpose, than to listen to yourself before, during, and after speaking. Why?

If you don’t listen to yourself, you are actually a representation of this picture: Totally blind to your surroundings, and totally confused with what is going on because you are not observing/listening/talking about what is happening.

If you talk about yourself without considering what the other person may want to hear, are you actually communicating? You may say; you do, but in fact a conversation can only be held if two persons are really engaged into understanding each other.

For example: You may talk for half an hour about fish because you love them, but after that you go to sleep, and don’t ask your mate (wife, husband, friend, brother, sister etc.) about his day, his plants, or whatever. Do you realize that by doing so, you are separating from him?

Now, it can be tough because even you do have the intention of listening, you may realize that now you can see things that may hurt:

01You were so into speaking that you hadn’t read their body talk before (yawn, a tick, touching their mouth as if they want to speak, etc.); you realize people weren’t interested in your talk.

02Those who listened to you, don’t want to talk to you about the things they love, and don’t feel the need to share about themselves.

03You may realize the interesting things you could have known, you may regret the days you were self centered, and wished had spent sharing with your loved ones. You may even feel sad for being so dumb.

Now, stop.
If you start feeling those depressive thoughts, react! There is no need to feel guilt, but to analyze the reasons behind the self-centered attitudes, so you may be alert before they arise again.

Your old patterns will try to regain force, each day, until the new habits replace the old ones. Well, how does all of this relate to depression? Well, a sad person comes into being because of several factors like:

• Loneliness
• Fear
• Anger
• Frustration
• Insecurity
• Low-self esteem
• Egoism

One concept is always are related to each other.

For example: If I feel anger, it is because I feel powerless, thus frustrated that you cannot change “the thing that keeps you depressed”. Or, If I are am an egoist person, then others will start to stay away from me because I am bitter, self-centered, and I will become lonely although surrounded of people.

So, what can we do when depressed? Find out the source of the depression. Listen to your thoughts. Find out if your thoughts provoke your sadness. Find the reason of those thoughts. Ask questions, ask them again, and release the inner pain through becoming aware of it.

Good Luck, and by the way, beware: These ideas are not considering a chemical imbalance, merely “some sort of mind/spirit” issues.

Photo Credit: By Icky Pic | Jimmy Changa

In between concepts, we fight, analyze, and reject. Some don’t even analyze, but only fight without stopping to think a little about what is going on. It is all about gaining control and power over other people’s opinions and beliefs.

We take it as a rule, but is that good or bad? Aren’t those concepts too?

So, you reach a point you may feel trapped. The only way to over come a concept is with another conceptualization. The infinite loop, can we outsmart it? What is needed to do so?

Concepts have given us the ability to communicate, be understood and united? Have they? Mm. Perhaps, we still haven’t found out the perfect concept application, right?

Words, words, words, that is all I do… Write, and yet, not convinced it is the best way to communicate. Will I ever be convinced? I don’t think so.

Concepts are the ideas that have aliened us from ourselves. I mean… Are words the way we think, analyze, judge, processes, and assess existence? Is what we think everything there is? Of course not, we can just be there… Is that becoming a vegetable? Who can say that? Has anyone been a vegetable, come back into being a human, and then exchange his or her wonderful experience?

Gosh! This certainly is ironic. I talk, talk, write, write, and I am not in favor of it? Not quite, nothing is really black, white or gray. Things are completely unimaginable, but sorry we can’t imagine what is inconceivable. Or can we?

What about breaking some paradigms, today? … How about thinking about something we are sure it is that way, and then… say: what I think is not the way I think…

You may think, ah! At last, you will understand life is not love, but so many horrible things.

I could be tempted into breaking my all love-life-mushy thing. I could elaborate a cruel reality and death (darkness), that is our inevitable fate. I won’t say love is everything, and we are just in a blue jelly pot in which we can’t see properly.

But love-life-mushy thing or dark humid feary stuff are at the end the same thing within our minds! Both are “mind conceptualizations” to give us a certain feeling or sense of security. Now, how can we overcome both, and actually understand life? How can I be sure I do exist, and it is not just a mind “matrix”?

My mind paradigm is: I exist.

Let’s change it to a totally counter-intuitive idea.

What if… I am not existing?!?!?!

This can’t be possible you will categorically reject because you believe in something as “you are certain of existing”, but let’s give the idea a try…

What would happen if “I” am not existing? Who is the “I”?

Could this happen?

No more need for power, no more need to control. I am not what I have thought I were. I am simply what is here as I read, my present moment.

Perhaps, could I be a character of a book o a multi-verse dream in a collective understanding of reality?

But when I hit myself, it hurts. Does it? Let myself go… Why is it so painful?

Ah! However, when it hurts really hard I cannot think properly. Who said: “I think, therefore I exist.”(Cognito ergo sum)? What did Descartes mean? Did they translate properly? Who knows? He might had a lot of thoughts in his head, but did that mean he was right?

I can be conscious, and not thinking. Or I may be sleeping, and not thinking. Or am I always thinking? Mm. I am tired of thinking.

If I could just say to my head: Standby, and enjoy the scenery, could it? Perhaps, and would that mean I stop existing if I stop thinking?

If that man is right, of course, I have never really existed. It is just a mind-thought thing, but if that man is wrong, then…

Remember: People are guides, not a rule book! A book does not represent the reality of a person, and it is arrogant to state what a person would actually believe due to his writings.

If one of those men of the past we use as a rule of life were awaken in our actual context, their beliefs would radically change if this person were intelligent enough to admit their conditioned (to their era and context) thinking.

How do I know I exist? Why do we believe everything they have “taught” us through centuries?

Have you heard the story about the woman who cut the bread in half because it did not fit in her stove, and the generations to come did the same thing although their stoves were now big enough?

Well, perhaps my perfect love beliefs and my dreadful empty depressive reality are the same inside my mind. They are just ideas that provoke certain actions and consequences.

That is the catch in here: If I want to live the “hate it all + I am it all” world, then your reality will bite your buttocks. If you live the “love it all – peace” world, then other type of chain reactions come into place.

So, after all, it all comes into the same category… Is awareness just another concept or is there a way to break the loop through a hole?

Photo Credit: by h.koppdelaney