You’ve got to put it to the test in a VERY serious manner.

With this purpose in mind, I will give you some questions that could lead you to this answer, but at the same time I will contradict myself. This is to make you think because there are many currents of thought to answer this question, including yours and mine. Yet, I am going to approach to it through a different lens, a practical and experimental one.

First of all, what is the objective of meditation? Some might believe it is to reach enlightenment, so I ask… What is enlightenment? Is it a supernatural thing? Although, this could be deeply phenomenological I still want to be cautious. We cannot simply accept something that is out of our experience (although this experience might be false, will not go here right now, but it is about how our senses and brain tricks us); we need to ask questions because blind belief has a done a lot of damage to our societies.

So, let’s put an idea forward as a possibility of enlightenment:

Love, the feeling of loving when it is overwhelming and completely embracing to the point your “self” is not longer that “self”.

You could have felt this when you were hugging your child, even a dog, or simply by being totally out of time and space when doing something for you or others in a brief moment of space and time, a deep fulfilling moment. My point in comparing it to this: I want to bring enlightenment to something experimental, something that can be actual in yourself, but is not dependent of your desires of wanting to be “enlightened” but in giving “yourself”.

Now, to be very clear I am not saying this is enlightenment, but I am not saying it isn’t either: I am just setting a “common” ground that will put forward the possibility of love being enlightenment.

Now, if love is enlightenment? Then, ask yourself: What could be the most incredible moment of love I have lived? Why haven’t I lived it constantly? What is stopping me from living a constant wave of love within myself?

These questions are very interesting because they could lead you to ask: Who am I? Who is that “myself”? Who is this being “I” who thinks I am which is constantly talking to me? Is there a moment in our minds where there is complete silence of chatter? Does chatter stop when I love? Can I be aware of something without the need of words and chatter? Can I be aware of the words and chatter without judging them, but loving them?

Loving my CHATTER?! Could that mean love myself? Could loving “myself” mean enlightenment? Is this egoism? How does egoism differ from “enlightened” love? Could egoism mean my chatter, and “enlightened” love the awareness of the chatter? Could it mean to love the chatter, but at the same time improving it by being aware of what is going on inside of it without judging harshly (with love)? Am I that chatter? If I can be aware of my chatter, can I be aware of the things that surround me without that chatter? If I am able to see everything around me without chatter or judgments, can I feel that love that makes it all bloom?

Don’t make your need for answers or “quest” be the opium of your mind, let it rest, so when it does speak to you, you will be ready to hear.

Now, awareness… How does it relate to meditation and the idea of enlightenment? Well, meditation is said to take you to this state of silence, but is this silence necessary? Isn’t awareness more fulfilling than meditation? Could awareness be the silence when observing deeply our chatter or nature? Could meditation be at tool that we believe is the “method” without seeing that the tool as a tool is meaningless if there is no understanding of what it does and how it does it?

With awareness, you can have chatter, but you are aware of it. With awareness, you can have silence, and be aware of it. In awareness, there is love… Why? You have to love to see the awareness or you have to be aware to see the love. It is in actual experience that this can be realized, not as a myth of enlightenment, but as an actual thing that can be achieved when you decide to put your effort into it.

In meditation there is the belief that there is a “method”, and methods don’t work for everybody. So, we must doubt the method, and find our own ways to see our minds “through” our own forms of meditation or reflection. You can try the method, but don’t be blinded by the method… You are the ultimate source of meditation… You are the experience that is observing everything that happens around you.

You Choose!

Meditation, awareness, love, enlightenment, or another… Whatever you choose, do it, but try to ask why? Find your own answers, and if they lead you to fulfillment (a deep sense of love)… There is something good there to be explored, if they lead you to depression and suffering: STOP. Analyze yourself.

Ask: What am I afraid of? Nothing…? Then, let it be for a while, stop the questions, live and experience of being in the tree of life. Perhaps, in the moment you least imagine… An answer will pop! You will know it is time to ask the questions, again. However, don’t ignore it totally… Listen.

It is all about deep observations, awareness, love, YOUR method of meditation, and perhaps enlightenment, and again be cautious… Self-delusion is always a possibility, yet… I ask: Is the love you feel an illusion? How is it real? Could it be even more real? Could you live it to its full potential? What is that potential?

We have an urgent thing to answer: What is violence? Where does violence come from? Where does violence lie within us?

There are people who talk about freedom of the mind, and its emptiness. It is my concern that their beliefs and their concepts about all these theories fill the same void religion fills. The only difference is that their ideology changes to their new adopted behaviors of meditation or whatever “fashion” is available to them that makes them feel good or safe. The problem of ideology and belief is the lack of questioning the fundamental reasons: Who are we? What is a concept? What is to think? How do we think? What is love? What is to observe? Etc. These questions may seem obvious, but it is in that trap that we have been living, a trap that can no longer be contained. It is ready to explode. There are philosophers, religious figures, and others who have attempted to give answers to these questions. However, it can no longer be a state of complete denial where deep thought is left for some, it is our responsibility to ask questions, and try to answer them, not for the sake of knowledge, but your own fulfillment.

Now, it seems easier and more tempting to just read a “guru”, and believe everything he says, instead of challenging him and giving him your own level, you as “he” as the same capacities, the only difference is that he made a living by being “a guru”. You cannot. Most of us, have to work or do things to survive, and being a guru is not an option, unless you are one of those writers who say to know everything about the world, but in fact are a bunch of copy pasters from different traditions of thought.

Therefore, this post today will be to challenge you… I dare you to think! To ask questions. To forget about the “guru”, to face life with all you’ve got, painful or not, it is all we actually have, our experience, and if we continue to rely on those “mythical figures” (academic, political, or religious) we will fail to see our mistakes, and will be keep doing them for centuries to come.

So, how to ask questions? With more questions, without “definite answers”, however you will gain new perspectives about life. You will be able to see how there is no actual “true” or “false” (in a deep sense), but perspectives that have different ways of seeing and experiencing life. As I said before, these questions are not about finding perfect answers or new beliefs… It is about experiencing life in a new way… BEWARE the guru, the knower, the whatever… better know thyself!

Let’s confront the gurus, prophets, philosophers, etc, and realize in yourself the correct perspective of what they are saying. Got a belief? Challenge it. Challenge your own belief. Don’t fall into the your own guru bias. You have to be very careful, very aware of your thoughts, and how they arise, and how they dissolve. Why? You use your thoughts to understand life. It is a source of your “experience”, you cannot simply trust your senses because it is “obvious” to do so, you need not only to challenge others, but to challenge yourself to the extreme. This might sound difficult or extraordinary, and it might be… Until you realize how relevant, and transcendent for your experience it is to see beyond concepts, to observe beyond beliefs, to actually LIVE, and instead of being in a “virtual reality” of yourself.

Ask questions: Use one question, and answer it with another until you have a bag of questions you are constantly trying to answer day and night. You will reach answers, doubt those, and start again. Why do we want to feel security of knowing? Is there something else beside knowledge? What about experience? Is experience knowledge? How can live an experience if I am always thinking about nonsense? Or is the experience a thought? If experience is a thought, then… Is all reality a product of thought? Is there something beyond thoughts?

How can you assure that the mind is never empty? How can you assure everybody lives a mind without emptiness? Why is emptiness so important if you have never had your mind empty? Isn’t that same “idea” of emptiness the same thing that “prevents” you from being empty? And if you reach emptiness how can you be sure that there is this divine? And if it is divine, how can you be sure that divine is not obtained through untraditional non explored ways that only you can reach through self-contemplation with or without thoughts? Why do mediators want to empty the mind? Isn’t the mind already empty, but we strive to “live” the illusions due to the security felt by what we know? Why would you want to achieve one-mindedness if one-mindedness already is? Why try to achieve something that is not achievable because it already has been achieved?

Why is there a classical sense of traditional meditation? Is meditation total awareness (Including your thoughts whenever they arise and non-thoughts)? What happens when there are no thoughts? Is this possible? How can you assure that there is no possible existence without thoughts just because you haven’t experienced a life without “constant thoughts”? Ask about contemplation, how does contemplation relate with thought? How could awareness of these conflicts change things? What is contemplation? Could there be a state of constant awareness?  For example, I am observing the conflict inside my head without judging, but just listening to it and trying to understand it. Could this be meditation? Why should you follow a tradition about what is a “meditative state”? What is justice? What is freedom? Do you really have free will? If so, could the idea of having free will a belief that you want to nurture to feel security and feel you have control over something?

These questions are not easy, some may find them too difficult to answer because that means to change your entire way to observe and experience the world. You will change, and in this change if there is no peace, but more conflict, your answers are creating more and more beliefs that do not have a foundation of truth. Why? What is truth? What is peace? What is violence? How does violence work within the mind? Is our nature violent? Why? Why could you accept a concept like that seeing the implication of such violence in the world? Could concepts and beliefs be the source of violence? Could our identification of ourselves with these beliefs create violence to defend these beliefs that create us security? Where does true security lie? Could security be related with violence? What would happen if we understood security? Would fear disappear? What is fear? How is fear felt? What are the consequences of fear? How does frustration relate with fear and anger? Can you live without anger? How is fear helpful? What are the limits of fear? Are we really free? What is freedom?

It is about challenging the known, not with a new belief… And although, that “will” and might happen, the ultimate purpose should not be to gain a new “way of thinking”, but a new way of being… How?

Changing the way you experience life, love!

Of course, there are may types of attacks. Ones may be physical and psychological or just psychological. However, the impact of any type of attack on yourself is profound.

It is in these attacks where a window of opportunity is opened: The capacity to grow and overcome this through observation, awareness, and then change will take place.

Let’s make conscious some internal workings we may not be aware of:

You may believe power comes from controlling others, when it actually exists when you are in control of YOURSELF.

Cause <-> Effect
-> one way
<-> Both ways

• Feeling Abused -> Anger
• Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless
• Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security
• The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear
• Fear -> Anger
• Anger <-> Sadness

In other words,

01Feeling Abused -> Anger
Anger may be a common response when we feel abused. In such moments, anger may provoke an aggressive response or a silent protest. Even a silent response, may induce resent. Therefore, abuse causing anger needs to be detected before anger controls you and you won’t be able to see beyond the abuse.

What does “to see beyond the abuse” mean? It means abuse needs to be understood to be free from it, not only to have a reaction through anger or sadness, but to see beyond behavior to understand ourselves better.

02Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless When you feel abused, you can sense how powerless you really are. It happens that you may not even aware of this, but the impact of your agression toward the world surrounding you when we feel powerless is enormous. This all is influenced by your definition of what is fair.  For example, if you worked hard for an A and got a D, you may feel abused, and if you can’t change the note… You will feel powerless, thus angry and frustrated. This chain of reactions will only lead to a negative consequence. You need to be aware of it before it takes control over you. Why? The angrier  you get, the less will you be able to observe your surroundings or yourself to take the appropriate action for a positive result.

03Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security When there is no control or actual manipulation, freedom really begins to exist. Unfortunatly, we don’t regularly see this because we want to prefer the feeling of security over freedom. However, the security provoked by controling others is just ephimeral and not real. Security exists only when you are free, but freedom from your inside, not outside. The more you are aware of your own instincts and patters, the better you will feel because you will be free from yourself, thus you will feel no need to control others.

04The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear When you are feeling power powerless, you realize you can never really control others, and you can’t even not be in control of yourself, fear may come in, and aggression could find a way into your mind. When you realize you are powerless, you may want to control others, you could try to use “force” to obtain thing your way through control and manipulation, and if you don’t get it your way, anger gains control over you.

Do you realize the more you feel the need to control others, the less will you actually be in need of the others to feel secure, thus your security will always be false and depending others? Eventually, those you think you will always control, will realize it. Manipulation doesn’t live forever, people die. Yet, you will always be with yourself.

05Fear -> Anger It is when you feel fear when your animal instincts gain force. Fear is a primeval feeling that is deeply related with how secure we feel. A long time ago, when we heard a roar we had to run. That adrenaline rush keeps coming after all these centuries, but in the form of anger. Why? We may not need to kill the prey, but we still feel the rush that becomes anger toward those who seem to take our security away from us. What would happen if we could realize we do not need to control others to feel secure? What would happen if we don’t feel fear when we are not under control over things? What would happen if we could understand ourselves so well, we can feel security by seeing the truth beyond our biased perceptions?

06Anger <-> Sadness Least, but not last… Anger is actually sadness, the realization you are not “powerful” and you will never be “secure”, unless something changes deeply inside of you. If you see yourself really closely when in anger, you will realize without a doubt that when you are anger, you are really sad about something. It could be you are sad because you cannot obtain something you deserve (the definition of what is just in your eyes), you may have a low-self esteem without realzing it consciously, and then it is projected by anger when you are feel sad, disappointed, alone, worthless, etc. and don’t want to realize it because doing it means you will change. Most of us, don’t want to change until we reach the limit.

When will enough be enough?

At the end, I may be wrong and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but give you hints about what could be going on inside yourself. If we could understand the consequences of our actions before they unfold, perhaps will we be ready to live with confortably with those. It takes a lot of courage to react against the most, but if you don’t start your own positive current: Who will? What are you waiting for?

The more you become aware of what you do and why, the less will you suffer. Think about it!

Thoughts create depression. Is this true?

Stay alert:

• Do you speak only about yourself?
• Do you ask for others doings after speaking a while about yourself?
• Do you really pay attention to the meaning of the words when they are speaking or are you just thinking in what are you about to respond?
• Do you analyze the impact of your words and calculate the “aftermath” of your encounter?

Sometimes, we rather talk to someone without a purpose, than to listen to yourself before, during, and after speaking. Why?

by Icky Pic

If you don’t listen to yourself, you are actually a representation of this picture: Totally blind to your surroundings, and totally confused with what is going on because you are not observing/listening/talking about what is happening.

If you talk about yourself without considering what the other person may want to hear, are you actually communicating? You may say; you do, but in fact a conversation can only be held if two persons are really engaged into understanding each other.

For example: You may talk for half an hour about fish because you love them, but after that you go to sleep, and don’t ask your mate (wife, husband, friend, brother, sister etc.) about his day, his plants, or whatever. Do you realize that by doing so, you are separating from him?

Now, it can be tough because even you do have the intention of listening, you may realize that now you can see things that may hurt:

01You were so into speaking that you hadn’t read their body talk before (yawn, a tick, touching their mouth as if they want to speak, etc.); you realize people weren’t interested in your talk.

02Those who listened to you, don’t want to talk to you about the things they love, and don’t feel the need to share about themselves.

03You may realize the interesting things you could have known, you may regret the days you were self centered, and wished had spent sharing with your loved ones. You may even feel sad for being so dumb.

Now, stop.
If you start feeling those depressive thoughts, react! There is no need to feel guilt, but to analyze the reasons behind the self-centered attitudes, so you may be alert before they arise again.

Your old patterns will try to regain force, each day, until the new habits replace the old ones. Well, how does all of this relate to depression? Well, a sad person comes into being because of several factors like:

• Loneliness
• Fear
• Anger
• Frustration
• Insecurity
• Low-self esteem
• Egoism

One concept is always are related to each other. For example: If I feel anger, it is because I feel powerless, thus frustrated that you cannot change “the thing that keeps you depressed”. Or, If I are am an egoist person, then others will start to stay away from me because I am bitter, self-centered, and I will become lonely although surrounded of people.

So, what can we do when depressed? Find out the source of the depression. Listen to your thoughts. Find out if your thoughts provoke your sadness. Find the reason of those thoughts. Ask questions, ask them again, and release the inner pain through becoming aware of it.

Good Luck!
By the way, beware: These ideas are not considering a chemical imbalance, merely “mind/spirit” issues.

In between concepts, we fight, analyze, and reject. Some don’t even analyze, but only fight without stopping to think a little about what is going on. It is all about gaining control and power over other people’s opinions and beliefs.

We take it as a rule, but is that good or bad? Aren’t those concepts too?

So, you reach a point you may feel trapped. The only way to over come a concept is with another conceptualization. The infinite loop, can we outsmart it? What is needed to do so?

Concepts have given us the ability to communicate, be understood and united? Have they? Mm. Perhaps, we still haven’t found out the perfect concept application, right?

Words, words, words, that is all I do… Write, and yet, not convinced it is the best way to communicate. Will I ever be convinced? I don’t think so.

Concepts are the ideas that have aliened us from ourselves. I mean… Are words the way we think, analyze, judge, processes, and assess existence? Is what we think everything there is? Of course not, we can just be there… Is that becoming a vegetable? Who can say that? Has anyone been a vegetable, come back into being a human, and then exchange his or her wonderful experience?

Gosh! This certainly is ironic. I talk, talk, write, write, and I am not in favor of it? Not quite, nothing is really black, white or gray. Things are completely unimaginable, but sorry we can’t imagine what is inconceivable. Or can we?

What about breaking some paradigms, today? … How about thinking about something we are sure it is that way, and then… say: what I think is not the way I think…

You may think, ah! At last, you will understand life is not love, but so many horrible things.

I could be tempted into breaking my all love-life-mushy thing. I could elaborate a cruel reality and death (darkness), our inevitable fate. I won’t say love is everything, and we are just in a blue jelly pot in which we can’t see properly. But, love-life-mushy thing or dark humid feary stuff are at the end the same thing. Both are “mind conceptualizations” to give us a certain feeling or sense of security. Now, how can we overcome both, and actually understand life? How can I be sure I do exist, and it is not just a mind “matrix”?

My mind breaking paradigm is: I exist. Let’s change it. What if… I am not existing?!?!?! No more need for power, no more need to control. I am not what I have thought I were. Am I real or a character of a book?

Flickr by h.koppdelaney

But, when I hit it hurts. Does it? Let myself go… Why is it so painful?

Ah! However, when it hurts really hard I cannot think. Who said: I think, therefore I exist. What did he mean? Sure, he had a lot of thoughts in his head, but did that mean he was right?

I can be conscious, and not thinking. Or I may be sleeping, and not thinking. Or am I always thinking? Mm. I am tired of thinking. If I could just say to my head: Standby, and enjoy the scenery, could it? Perhaps, and would that mean I stop existing?

If that man is right, of course, I have never really existed. It is just a mind-thought thing, but if that man is wrong, then…

How do I know I exist? …

Why do we believe everything they have “taught” us through centuries? Have you heard the story about the woman who cut the bread in half because it did not fit in her stove, and the generations to come did the same thing although their stoves were now big enought?

Well, my perfect love beliefs and my dreadful empty depressive reality are the same inside my mind. They are just ideas that provoke certain actions and consequences. That is the catch in here: If I want to live the “hate it all + I am it all” world, then your reality will bite your buttocks. If you live the “love it all – peace” world, then other type of chain reactions come into place.

So, after all, it all comes into the same category… Is awareness just another concept or is there a way to break the loop hole?