The image of self needs a sense of security in order to function. There are different types of security: Physical and Psychological. If there is a threat, then the process of fear begins to be self evident.

Psychological security cannot be found in our exterior, but we are taught that it can be found through money, goals, and power. The only thing that can be gained through these “objects” is physical security. However, one must be aware that physical is never really possible. You can have an accident or have “bad” luck.

The first step in order to gain awareness is to realize that the concept of security as we have been taught is a total lie. We struggle into finding someplace, sometime, and somehow. It is always a tomorrow to be gained, a past to be overcome, but what happens with the present moment? It gets lost in the midst of the concept we call time.

Why have we created a shrine out of time? Why is the concept of time so deeply ingrained in our system of beliefs?

This psychological security will never be found outside of yourself. Psychological security depends solely on your ability to understand yourself and be aware of yourself.

However as one gets deeper into the process of fear, it might be more difficult to become aware of our involvement in it; unless we are constantly informing our consciousness of this process through mindfulness.

Is this true? How Find out by observing your self as you act within violence, fear or sadness. Maybe I am wrong at this, so become an empiricist of your own mind!

I am only a guide, not the rule!

If I ask you, are you afraid of death? Will you take some time to consider this? Or will you instantly say: Naaa… I do not care about dying. Bring it on!

If you instantly answer that you are not afraid, could it be that you are so deep into the process of fear that you cannot recognize it? If you answer again with a simple no, then I ask you: Have you been angry recently?

If you answer no, then stop reading! You might not ready to understand this or you might already be pure peace. Your call. No hard feelings!

Let’s move on with those who can actually accept that fear is present in their lives most of the time in a very subtle mode or are not actually living inner peace.

You might be aware of the fact that you do not live a profound inner peace, but maybe you have never experienced a moment of fulfillment that is not directly related to an achievement.

Are you ready so tired of suffering that you cannot bear it anymore? Are you tired of trying to achieve the impossible because there is always more to crawl into? Are you in a state of depression that cannot be ignored any longer?

Well, if you are in that state of complete surrender to the reality that is being presented day by day. You feel there is no way out… I have good news for you!

The greatness of becoming more aware is always waiting for you!

Your suffering is directly proportional to your violence and fear. You might ask: Where does suffering come from? How does suffering relate to fear?

It is all related in a very subtle way. You can become aware of it through direct observation of your thoughts and feelings as they begin to creep in and try to control you.

You might say, “Well, that is too difficult. I cannot do it. I have never done it.”

Well if you think you can’t, then you are not sick tired to your bones of suffering. Believe me! Once you say, enough is enough from your most inner core…

You CAN do it! Nothing but yourself is stopping you!

Tired of suffering?

Choose awareness over control.
Choose fulfillment over power.
Choose inner liberty over goals.
Choose love over fear.
Choose peace.

I have given you a simple guide with a hypothesis of the process of fear. My theory might not apply to you, but it is a walked path that can help you understand yourself faster.

However, to some people this answer might seem counter-wise their own set of established beliefs. The reason is that we are traditionally taught that you have always teacher: at first it is your parents, then school teachers, even new type teachers might be needed after school, etc. So, let’s get this straight.

Yes, there might be teachers that explain stuff to make it easier to understand, but my question is: Who can teach me the truth?

What is the truth? Well, some might say science is the truth. Is this true? Well… In a way it is, but in another way it is not. Science can be proven to be false, and we change the truth to state the new truth. For example, we at first thought that the earth was flat. We now know it is not. It took many years to find out it was not flat. The reason it took so many years is that it was counter-wise their established set of traditional beliefs. Science is regarded as the truth because it changes as we admit and prove new ways of perceiving and interpreting reality in a group.

However, let’s go beyond the boundary of science. Let’s go into the individual… This terrain is tricky. There are many theories in philosophical books, and I won’t go there. You can search them if you are curious. I might not even be aware of the greatness you find there. So, what am I doing here?

I put forward a concept to you from a “fresh” perspective. Perhaps, you might agree with me, but I do not want to be agreed upon. I want to make you think. I want you to challenge me, but truly listen and grasp what I am saying.

Then, you are free to crush me politely.

Yes, the only real truth is here. It is in this exact moment as you read this. It is not an abstraction that you can elaborate in the past or in the future. Many of us spend enormous time trying to grasp the fundamentals of the universe, but we are doing it this way:

We use the reality of the present moment to create another reality within our own heads. The concept of the truth is stored in our brain, and we use that concept as if it were actually true, not realizing that the only truth is the present moment.

Of course, the present moment can include any concept because you have defined them and you use them to alter your reality as you think and act upon those thoughts. However, to believe that these concepts are the whole reality, and these can translate into truth and pure facts is a lie, a lie nurtured by tradition.

The belief that all can be explained through thoughts, verbs, etc. is an arrogant presumption.

However, the belief that the truth can be grasped in an abstraction is totally counter-wise in a practical sense because:

The truth must be real. What is real? The only real thing is here and now. The past is not real anymore, and the future is not here. This instant of perpetual infinity is the only truth. If you wake up this instant, and realize this was all a dream. Then, your new reality “the non-dream state” is the truth, not the past or the present, but that now.

So, how can someone else teach you the truth? How can someone teach you something that is not teachable? You have to observe it and become aware of it individually. How is this done?

There are many theories, but I will not spill the beans. You have to find it by yourself. You have to teach yourself the truth. You have to wake up to the fact that authority does not have the answer.

Please, at least let’s accept this situation. There is no agreement regarding the truth. Why don’t we at least accept it as a society, and move on?

Why don’t we accept differences, instead of projecting our fears in others’ beliefs? Why don’t we promote creative thinking, instead of tying to create equal molds of being?

We are ingrained with the belief that we must follow an authority figure. Do you know why this happens?

It happens because we feel security in believing that someone else knows the truth. If someone else knows the truth, then I might feel an illusion of safeness because although I do not know, others know, and I will someday know.

Stop! Think about this by yourself! Stop searching for a tomorrow that will reveal the truth. Stop searching for a teacher. You are the teacher and the student. You are the only one that can actually through your own experience live the truth. Stop nurturing the guru with ego. Stop praising the one who says he or she knows.

Better, yet… Also doubt what I am saying, and do what you want.

You can walk the path of the teacher until you are tired of following the authority that doesn’t lead you anywhere and you realize you have been walking in circles with such figure.

Just have this in mind: The relationship teacher-student is a power relation. There is a very fine line that can be crossed, and the student might fall into the trap of following without questioning.

Why? The teacher might lie. The teacher might not know. The teacher might have an enormous ego that the student is feeding. A teacher that needs a student is trapped within the desires of the student. The teacher is also trapped in the expectations of the student.

It is a power relationship, and one will always be trapped within a framework of belief unless you decide to stop the situation.

In a power relationship, if you have the lower status: It is almost impossible to win. The process of belief, how belief creates psychological safety, and the role it plays within those structures impede your ability to convince.

However, the student does have power over the “teacher” because it is a power relationship.

For example, if the teacher does not convince as he expects to do or the student decides not to be taught anymore, then a certain kind of hostility might occur. Although, it might seem at a first glance that in a teacher-student relationship the one who always loses is the student… It goes both ways.

The teacher is gaining something by teaching, if not: Why do it? Could it be total non-self interest? It might be. It is not my position to judge.

However, keep in mind I am not being specific. You might have a great teacher… So, this might not apply to you, right? Great! Stop reading then, unless you really want to challenge your framework of beliefs established by those important figures in your life.

Ready? Want to continue? This is the thing:

The truth cannot be shown. If your teacher is wonderful as you might desire to believe, then ask him: Can you show me the truth?

If he or she is wise, the answer will be: No. I cannot show you the truth.

Why? Why would a wise teacher be unable to show to the truth? A truth must be shown in order to believe, isn’t it? However, seeing is not believing because we use abstractions to reach a conclusion that is concrete.

If the teacher can’t see that you are the only one who can see the truth, then what are you learning: Languages? Science? Philosophy?

Remember, perspective plays a role here. Don’t expect a person who lives within a framework of language to point out something that is not within that context.

Why do we tend to treat something that is an abstraction as a concrete fact through language? Why do we choose security through belief, than challenging ourselves to the unknown? Could it be fear? Why do we feel fear? How does fear work? Could we be afraid to acknowledge that the truth cannot be taught?

The idea here is: The truth cannot be taught if the truth is in the present moment.

What does this mean? It means that if you are searching for the holy grail in your mind, instead of opening your hands to the reality in front of you. How will you find something that is there, but you prefer to be blind due to your own set of established beliefs that cause you to feel fear if ever threatened?

You might be wondering… Well, why do you ask questions? It is very easy to ask questions. You are no different from the so called “teachers”.

In fact, you are quite right. I am no different those so called “teachers”, but my point here is to make you think. I do not care if you believe me or not. I am challenging through those questions you might love to hear answered, and yes it might be easier to just ask the question.

But at the end, I might be wrong.

However, could it be more difficult to express a question in a precise order, so you can follow the concept without giving you an answer? Perhaps… Who knows?

My purpose: I would like you to realize that you are the only one that can actually answer some questions through your experience within the context of finding the truth.

Is this a sort of a teaching? Yes, but you still have the option to say: I don’t agree with you. Wonderful, I applaud your conviction. Keep asking questions! Keep arguing against me! Observe and listen deeply with great attention, and find the truth.

Could I rephrase this by telling you: “Be the truth.”? How would that change the game? Why would it change it? Could that be related with what I wrote before about the truth is in the present moment?

Photo Credits: First image By takomabibelot Second By brian glanz

Let me first begin with the fact that fear creates violence.

People use fear to control others, but what they do not realize is that that same fear in fact will create violence in order to defend itself from the boogie man.

Now, is this true? Does fear create violence? One has to seek within ourselves, and ask: Is there a relationship between myself being anger and a state of fear? For example, if I lose a loved one. I get angry at life. Is this anger directly proportional to the loss of the loved one? Is this anger related to my state of fear because I feel vulnerable without my loved ones who gave me a sense of inner security?

This is a suggested process of how violence could work within ourselves:

The chain that does not end, unless you end the conditional response. A response that has been nurtured by a cultural tradition of what kinds of responses are expected from you when being attacked. Ask yourself: When did you learn to act this way? Do you remember a specific moment? Most probably, you won’t. In fact, what you will remember is a set of rules set by example.

Your family might be trapped within this cycle or perhaps, a lover or a dear friend. If you do, realize that this process is taking place in your life. The only way to cut the chain is to walk away from those who are not willing to modify their pattern of aggression.

This might sound radical, but how can you change someone or something that is not willing to admit that something is wrong? You can’t.

You can only choose to change yourself, and that can only be done if you are no longer in the cycle. There are certain people who might trigger these emotional processes easier than others within yourself. Therefore, do not expect to change instantly. It takes time to override each and every button you have that can be triggered by a removal of your beliefs of safety (i.e fear based manipulation).

The reason people use fear to control is because it works in the short term. If you fear something, you will easily fall into manipulation of those who want to control you.

For example, if you do not want to sleep. Perhaps, a family member threatened to call the police and take you away if you did not sleep when they told you so. That act is creating fear through psychological violence.

In fact, fear is not good or bad. It is supposed to prevent you from harming yourself, but I ask: What would happen if our society stopped controlling through fear? What would happen if instead of fear, a new process called awareness of the consequences occurred?

As in the example above, what would happen if instead of threatening with the police, one would explain once and again the reason one has to sleep early? Why is it not explained that it is needed to rest in order for others to rest and also to be strong every day after resting?

It is not about not being able to understand! It is about being patient until one gets it! But, what happens if we are inside the cycle? Is there a way out? This is a suggestion, but do work out your own process.

Without deep analysis there won’t be real progress. Repeat each time you are in the cycle of violence. Don’t expect to be violence free at your first attempt. It is a process. It will take many years to master a peace mindset. Be patient.

Why do we prefer to threaten, instead of being patient? The reason is fear.

The use of threats occurs because the one threatening is afraid of the response of the one being manipulated. However, if one does not fear but understands and becomes patient… Where will fear go? What happens with fear? Does it really matter if we cannot eradicate fear? What is the key aspect here?

In order to overcome fear and violence, one must become aware.

Fear is the one that will make you enter the cycle of violence. It is not until to realize this that you can actually change your violent mindset, thus by becoming aware you can change. Fear can be overcome if it is confronted. If it is ignored it could become harmful through this vicious cycle, until you decide enough is enough! However, if fear is ignored… There might be a very good reason.

Do not be fooled or convinced by my ideas. I am just initiating the discussion. Challenge! Defeat my thought with real awareness of yourself. You need to get into it by yourself.

It is all up to you to change! No one will do it for you. You are the only one who that can beat violence through an awareness of its process within yourself as you feel your body getting tense with adrenaline.

Choose not to fall into the cycle. If you fail to be calm, do not fall into the trap of frustration as it is also part of fear. You might be afraid of not letting go of the cycle. Fear is elusive, yet it might be there when you think it is not.

Only your own observations can answer this!

Of course, there are may types of attacks. Ones may be physical and psychological or just psychological. However, the impact of any type of attack on yourself is profound.

It is in these attacks where a window of opportunity is opened: The capacity to grow and overcome this through observation, awareness, and then change will take place.

Let’s make conscious some internal workings we may not be aware of:

You may believe power comes from controlling others, when it actually exists when you are in control of YOURSELF.

Cause <-> Effect
-> one way
<-> Both ways

• Feeling Abused -> Anger
• Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless
• Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security
• The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear
• Fear -> Anger
• Anger <-> Sadness

In other words,

01Feeling Abused -> Anger
Anger may be a common response when we feel abused. In such moments, anger may provoke an aggressive response or a silent protest. Even a silent response, may induce resent. Therefore, abuse causing anger needs to be detected before anger controls you and you won’t be able to see beyond the abuse.

What does “to see beyond the abuse” mean? It means abuse needs to be understood to be free from it, not only to have a reaction through anger or sadness, but to see beyond behavior to understand ourselves better.

02Feel Abused <-> Feel Powerless When you feel abused, you can sense how powerless you really are. It happens that you may not even aware of this, but the impact of your agression toward the world surrounding you when we feel powerless is enormous. This all is influenced by your definition of what is fair.  For example, if you worked hard for an A and got a D, you may feel abused, and if you can’t change the note… You will feel powerless, thus angry and frustrated. This chain of reactions will only lead to a negative consequence. You need to be aware of it before it takes control over you. Why? The angrier  you get, the less will you be able to observe your surroundings or yourself to take the appropriate action for a positive result.

03Feel Powerless <-> The need to control others to gain security When there is no control or actual manipulation, freedom really begins to exist. Unfortunatly, we don’t regularly see this because we want to prefer the feeling of security over freedom. However, the security provoked by controling others is just ephimeral and not real. Security exists only when you are free, but freedom from your inside, not outside. The more you are aware of your own instincts and patters, the better you will feel because you will be free from yourself, thus you will feel no need to control others.

04The need to control others to gain security <-> Fear When you are feeling power powerless, you realize you can never really control others, and you can’t even not be in control of yourself, fear may come in, and aggression could find a way into your mind. When you realize you are powerless, you may want to control others, you could try to use “force” to obtain thing your way through control and manipulation, and if you don’t get it your way, anger gains control over you.

Do you realize the more you feel the need to control others, the less will you actually be in need of the others to feel secure, thus your security will always be false and depending others? Eventually, those you think you will always control, will realize it. Manipulation doesn’t live forever, people die. Yet, you will always be with yourself.

05Fear -> Anger It is when you feel fear when your animal instincts gain force. Fear is a primeval feeling that is deeply related with how secure we feel. A long time ago, when we heard a roar we had to run. That adrenaline rush keeps coming after all these centuries, but in the form of anger. Why? We may not need to kill the prey, but we still feel the rush that becomes anger toward those who seem to take our security away from us. What would happen if we could realize we do not need to control others to feel secure? What would happen if we don’t feel fear when we are not under control over things? What would happen if we could understand ourselves so well, we can feel security by seeing the truth beyond our biased perceptions?

06Anger <-> Sadness Least, but not last… Anger is actually sadness, the realization you are not “powerful” and you will never be “secure”, unless something changes deeply inside of you. If you see yourself really closely when in anger, you will realize without a doubt that when you are anger, you are really sad about something. It could be you are sad because you cannot obtain something you deserve (the definition of what is just in your eyes), you may have a low-self esteem without realzing it consciously, and then it is projected by anger when you are feel sad, disappointed, alone, worthless, etc. and don’t want to realize it because doing it means you will change. Most of us, don’t want to change until we reach the limit.

When will enough be enough? After a storm… Sense and accept the changes.

At the end, I may be wrong and I’m not going to tell you what to do, but give you hints about what could be going on inside yourself. If we could understand the consequences of our actions before they unfold, perhaps will we be ready to live with confortably with those. It takes a lot of courage to react against the most, but if you don’t start your own positive current: Who will? What are you waiting for?

The more you become aware of what you do and why, the less will you suffer. Think about it!

Photo Credit: Dhilung Kirat

We have been programmed to educate myself, to feel bad at myself if I am not doing something that should be called productive (oriented to success also called goal-oriented)…

For example:

You have to workout because I can’t be fat, not for health issues but looks. You have to fight for justice, not for others but within your belief (blindness due to social conditions) of what is fair. You have to be strong so you can be able to bare any adversity, but if the adversity is against your tradition of belief you have to walk away, and so on…

How does those programmed ideas affect me?

It can bring to my mind a lot of insecurities if I do not fulfill what I am supposed to do. If I get fat, I could call myself a worthless person because I cannot achieve something I am supposed to.

If I ask myself why am I getting fat?

The answer could be I feel bad about the way someone has treated me, so my sense of “you need to be strong” could be failing, so then you fall into a type of silent depression:

Where you don’t know you are sad, but get angry at everything that doesn’t work out as I thought it should, so you get very mad at yourself. As a result, you eat toward a state of believed comfort that is actually killing you.

Memories and experiences can have a positive impact in you, but if you are not aware enough they can take over you.

How can you think clearly when there is so much baggage being carried through your life?

For example, if you’ve been a person who has been kidnapped, your experience may cripple you in such a way you may begin to get furious at anyone who tries to tell you what to do.

However, fear has perfect ways to become an unnoticed companion. It is like the smoke, sometimes it is dense and seen, but others it can only be sensed by a keen nose.

Could fear manifest itself with anger and depression?

Searching for answers, there are two ways out:

01Numbness Certainly, this may feel the easiest way out, but it is really painful. To be blind, and ignore everything happening around you is never a solution because life will find a way to make you realize: This is an insensitive path, and only by comprehending your surroundings may you be released by the chains it brings.

02Creativity You may use art to explore yourself, you may take the analytic route by questioning it all, or you could become aware of your thoughts 24/7 trying to unveil the secrets deepest of your mind. In any case, creativity is the key because it leads us to what is not known by us, to create is to bring from what we see as nothingness to our sight. That means whatever is dark and unknown (that could bring us fear) will be revealed to our eyes.

How does fear cripple life? In any possible way you let it by not being aware of it.

Photo Credit: By David Oliva